Kingdom Hearts in my Stupid Version
by Starlight506
Summary: A really funny version of Kingdom Hearts for those of you who like it and need a laugh. Two Soras? Hmmmmm.....
1. Default Chapter

Kingdom Hearts in my Stupid Version

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A/N :(from starlight506) I do not own this story! Pheonixfeather does, and that's a good thing seeing how I only play Kingdom Hearts games and that's not enough for me to write a story! Ah, well here's, Pheonixfeather.

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A/N: I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING EXCEPT FOR A PAIR OF SOCKS!! Wait... Okay I

own one sock because I think I lost the other. Okay, this might be a

total disaster, or a complete masterpiece written by a true genius of

humor! I vote for the latter. And the MV is totally evil, okay? And

Sora is totally stupid, mostly at the end. Hope that's not a problem.

Anyways, read and enjoy.

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Dream

Sora is falling headfirst through water in a dreamlike state

Sora: I've been having these weird thoughts lately... Like, where did

Kairi come from? Oh, while we are talking about Kairi, I always want to

know, why does she giggles in that stupid annoying way? Oh, yeah

flipping through script while upside down Oh, yeah... OK, Like, is any of

this for real or not?

Suddenly Sora appears on the beach of Destiny Islands, his home. Funky

music starts playing while annoying high pitched singing screeches

through the air. Sora sees Riku, his 15 year old best friend far out in the

water

Sora: Riku, get out of the water. Your mom will KIIIILLLL you if she

sees you without your water wingies!!

Riku: Must... kill... WATER, KILL SORA!!

Sora: Riku! I'll-get's wiped out by water gargle, blargle, argle!

Riku: Wait water!!! Don't kill him! Then I won't have an excuse to eat

his mom's meatloaf!!

Sora suddenly washes up on the shore at dusk. Kairi is on the shore

waving at him.

Kairi: Sora!!!! You almost drowned!!! giggles I was going to

CRYYYYY!!

Sora: muttering It would of saved me a looooot of pain... to Kairi

Hiya.

Another Sora comes falling out of the sky.

Sora: Hey, that guy looks familiar. Hey, his eyes are blue, like

mine... and his hair!! It sticks straight up like mine!!! Sora starts

running toward Falling Sora BROTHER!! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ?!?

Sora starts doing a slow-motion fall backward

Kairi: NNNNNNOOOOOOOO!!!! COOMMMEEE BBAACCKK!!

Sora: NOOOOOOO!!

Sora appears on the ocean's bottom. When he steps forward, a whole

bunch of doves start flying around.

Sora: Why the heck are there birds underwater?!? Heck, I aM

UNDERWATER!! WHHHHEEE!! starts doing flips in the water

Mysterious Voice (MV): Hello? Testing, 1-2-3. Is this thing on?? Wrong

button!!! growl, roar

Sora: Stops flipping Hi!! I'm new here!! Can you show me around? Can

I-

MV: So you're the new keyblade guy!! Alrighty changes to scary

voice Step forward!! Can you do it?

Sora: Sarcastically Save me. Eeek, reeeeaaall hard.

Walks forward, but then trips on something.

Random Dove: EEEKKK!! squashed (from shrek2, for those of you who live under 5 rocks and buried near the center of the earth!)

Sora: What?!? Oh, I wonder how that happened... evil grin

MV: sigh Whatever... Next platform.

next platform

MV: Choose your path and hurry up with it will ya? I got a gig to do

in an hour with Joan of Arc, okay?

Pedestals pop out of the ground: one with a sword, one with a staff,

and one with a shield

Sora: Hmmm... sees sword OOOOHHHH SHINY!!! I'll take it!! grabs

sword

MV: Which shall you give up?

Sora: hurls shield off platform I don't need this!! With strength I

is INVINCIBLE!!!!

MV: O.o Chosen my... oh, am I back on? NEXT!!

next platform

Sora: sniffle Wheres my sword? I likes shiny!! sob, cry

WWAAAHH!! sees save point OHHHHH!!! Green shiny spot on floor. Cannot

resist!! steps on save point heeheeheeheehee, it TICKLES!!

MV: Stupid keyblade... I said "Choose Riku"! He's strong, not so

goody-goody, smart,- sigh dreamily

Sora: He has to wear water wingies!! giggles

MV: Good point... but back to my point, he is still better than you,

bozo!!

Sora: What do you mean, Bozo?!? Tell that to my-

MV: Hey kid, we gotta keep this game in a "Everyone" rating!! No foul

language!! Andangry how dare you speak to me like that?! I can, and

shall, proceed to hurt you with my heartless!

Sora: looks up with a puzzled look on his face Foot? Foot is foul

language?

Heartless(evil monsters who must die) pop out of ground.

Sora: screams BUGS!!!

MV: hahaha!! no sword!! hahaha!! cell phone rings Hello? Yeah, this

is... aaaawwwww, do I hafta? geez..FINE!! YOU DON'T NEED TO BE SO

HARSH!!growl, roar

Sword falls down to sora.

Sora: shiny!! pounces on it and swings it around HIIIYYYAAAA!!

show-off pose DONE!!

MV: WHY DOES LIGHT VANQUISH DARKNESS???!!!!??? WHY???!!!??

sighnext. . . platform. . .

next platform

MV: flipping pages The closer you get to the light, the greater your

shadow becomes!!

Sora: steps toward light Shiny? Me likes shiny... sound like Golem

from LOTR Shiny precious... does the coughing up a fish sound while

keeps on walking toward the light

MV: yawn Look at your shadow, doofus. Now you're going to get

eaten by the darkness and I can leave. yay.

Sora: sees shadow Hey, you have a hole in you! You look like a

drool DOUGHNUT!!

Shadow: More like doom, but okay! Anywho, I need to suck you up.

Sorry!

Sora: gets sucked up by darkness EEEKKKK!!

The 1st Day Destiny Islands

Sora wakes up on the beach of Destiny Islands, his home.

Kairi: pokes at Sora with Tidus pole WAKEY-WAKEY!!!

Sora: Kairi!! What do you want?!? I was having a nice peaceful dream

about darkness and shiny thingies!!

Kairi: Get-stuff-for-raft!!

Sora:Jumps up to his feet Yes, MAAM!!

Sora walks over to Selphie. Stupid.

Sora: Could you please inform me about where I could find a piece of

woven material that is suitable for the makings of a raft?

Selphie: Jumps up and down like the idiot that she is Oh!! Oh!! I

know!! Its... Its... stops jumping and starts to drool and then

snaps out of that Hi Sora!! What were we talking about?

Sora: okay. . . runs away as fast as his scrawny legs can carry him

Sora is in the hidden room where the cloth is hidden and grabs it off

the wall.

Sora: Cloth, check!! Now for.. looks at list given to him from Kairi

Roo-pee?!? What the heck is that?!?

Link From LOZ: has glasses on and is reading out of a dictionary

Ahem,

rupee noun the basic monetary unit of India, Pakistan, Sri Lanka,

Nepal, Mauritius, and the Seychelles.

-ORIGIN Sanskrit, 'wrought silver'. Is also the currency of all of the

LegendOfZelda games which I wink, smile am featured in!

disappears

Author: Rope, you idiot. R-O-P-E

Sora: Are-oh-peas? And what the heck is Sanskrit ?!? starts crying

I-I-I IS SOOOO CON-sob-FUSED!! crying

Few hours later

Sora: running up to Kairi Two logs, cloth, R-you-P, and a fish!!

Kairi: giggles Silly Sora!! The fish is for tomorrow!! giggles

again making everybody deaf

Sora: SORRY, KAIRI!! I CANT HEAR YOU!!!

Kairi: WHAT?!? SORRY, SORA, NOW I CANT HEAR YOU!!

This continues for a few hours until

Riku: walks to the area Hey guys!! Wassup?

I guess he wasnt on the island when Kairi giggled?

Sora: Hey, I can hear again!! YAAAYYY!!

DONT ASK ME HOW

Riku: mumbling Whatever, idiots..

Kairi: Hey, lets go over to the little island that is connected to this

island and talk on the paupou tree about mysterious other worlds.

Sora & Riku: O.o

Sora (being the idiot he is):Whatja ya say?

Riku: We are going to the island over there to talk about how I

wouldve never thought of the idea to go and try to see other worlds if

Kairi bats eyelashes hadnt come.

Sora: Everything is about you isnt it? Its no fair!

Riku: Thats because I am liked more and am more favored by everyone.

Crazy Sora Fan-girl: No way! Sora is much cuter and purer and hes

the main character!! and hes...

Kairi: No way girly! Hes my guy! Jumps in front of Sora

Sora: See! I am loved by all! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I am better than you

at being cute!

Riku fan-girls start to erupt from ground

Riku fan-girls: Riku is stronger, not to mention more cool, and

hotter-giggle,giggle,giggle very annoyingly and its kinda getting me mad,

WILL YOU PLEASE STOP THAT?!?

Riku: Shall we go somewhere private, ladies?

Kairi has finally gotten that CSFG away from Sora

Kairi: RIKU, YOU ARE GOING NOWHERE! WE ARE GOING TO THE ISLAND TO GET

AWAY FROM THESE FREAKS AND TALK BOUT OTHER WORLDS NOW! OR ELSE!!

Riku & Sora: blinks stupidly

Riku: Just back away slowly...

Sora: tries to run away Heeeelllpp mmmeeeeee! Shes crazy I tell

you, CRAZY! Ahhhhhh!

Kairi:grabs them both and proceeds to drag them to the island

Idiots...

At the paupou tree

Riku: Kairi, thanks.

Kairi: Um, for what? Did I do you a favor?

Riku: You came to this island, remember?

Kairi: WHAT?!? You mean-sniffle I dont belong here? puppy dog

eyes

Riku: rather agitated I mean, just read the stinkin script!

Kairi: salutes Yes, MAAM! Youare welcome.

Sora: Hey, I am at this stupid paupou tree too! Can I do more than

roll my eyes?!? Please I mean, man, even though I am the main

character-falls off tree and falls flat on his face sounding like Bugs

Bunny THIS MEANS WAR!!

Kairi: giggles

Riku: Yes, you can also fall off the tree, land face down in water, and

get to be embarrassed!!

Kairi: giggles loudly

Sora: And I get to yell THIS MEANS WAR!!

Kairi: giggles the loudest anyone could

Riku & Sora: COULD YOU PLEASE STOP GIGGLING?!?!

Kairi: Well, sooorrry!!

Riku & Sora & Kairi: sigh

Sora: thinking /Why does Kairi like Riku? Why not me? Am I just

jealous and I roll my eyes a lot?!?/

Kairi: looking at Riku /geez, hes cute/

Riku: looking at his reflection in the water /boy, Iâm cute/

Random Place Which Shall Not Be Revealed At This Time

We see a little white object... AAHHH!! ITS A UFO!! AAAHHH!

ALIENS!!! Oh, wait, its a duck! Aw, wook at the widdle duckie

wuckie... Its so cwute!!

Donald Duck: opens big purple door Yo, yo! Yo majesty, man,

hows it hangin? Man, why you aint answerin me, homedawg? sees

empty throne scream and runs down corridors

Later in Royal Gardens, or the Royal Knights Sleeping Chambers

Donald Duck: GGGOOOOFFFYYYY!!! WWWAAAKKKKEEE UUUUPPP!!!

Goofy: keeps snoring Come... back... butterfly... snort

Donald: THUNDER!!! zaps Goofy

Goofy: sits up and sees Donald Oohh!!! Butterfly! starts chasing

Donald

Donald: uses Graviga

Goofy: regains normal thoughts NOT about butterfliesmornin™,

Donald!

Donald: sigh then whispers The king is-

Goofy: CHEATING ON QUEEN MINNIE?!? HOWD YOU FIND OUT?!?

Donald: panic HE IS?!?!?

Goofy: HE IS?!?!?

Donald: sigh Hes gone, you imbecile!!

Goofy: cheers YAY!

Donald: O.O YOURE HAPPY?!?

Goofy: blushes and starts whistling

Donald: But we cant let anyone know, okay?? Its a secret.

Minnie: What cant we know, Donald?

Donald: gulps

2nd Day at D.I.

Kairi: So we need 3 fish, 2 coconuts, and-

Sora: But Im allergic to coconuts!

Kairi: You are?!?

Sora: sarcastically No, I just said that...

Kairi: Oh, okay! So we need 3 fish, 2 coconuts-

Sora: Let me repeat this for you. I AM ALLERGIC TO COCONUTS!

Kairi: You cant fool me this time! We need 3 fish, 2 coconuts,

fresh water and a seagull egg! Oh, and mushrooms!

Sora: just gives up Fine, but I am not eating the coconut!


	2. The Seret Place

A/N:PheonixFeather dont own KH and Starlight506 owns nothing of KH. Although I(the person who is writing this) am 506.

Secret Place

Sora: checking off list Egg, water, coconuts-shivers and fishies!

Now for the mushrooms...drooling, then sees mushrooms MUSHROOM!!!!

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE?!? runs to mushrooms, but trips over

root crawling towards mushroom Must...get...mushroom...

????: What the heck are you doing?

Sora: stands up quickly, and tries to dust off all the dirt on him

w/out looking embarrassed Um, hi. Do I...know you?? circles around

????, squinting

????: goes stiff Well... um... I've never seen you before..??

Sora: Youre...RIKU!!

????: No.

Sora: Kairi?!?

????: sigh Do I look-or sound- like a 14 year old girl to you?!?

Especially that one?!?

Sora: No, but with todays technology... Are you... gasp, almost

faint

????: What?!?

Sora: MOTHER?!? That is a clever costume! And the voice-changing!

Oh, mother, you should be in a movie!!

????: sigh Trust me, if I am NOT anybody, its your mother. I

wouldve killed myself by now.

Sora: So...Whyre you here?!? Huh?!? HUH?!?

????: Im here to tell you that your world will soon be completely

eclipsed, and that one who knows nothing can understand nothing.

Sora: sarcastically Well, arent you sweet?

????: sigh Hey, I get paid, alright?

silence

????: Sooooo....

Sora: Hey, arent you supposed to disappear?

????: No, you have to look at the door first.

Sora: spots door OOOOHHH!! starts clawing at door

????: No, youre just supposed to look at it...

Sora: still clawing at door

????: Youre gonna get splinters...

Sora: still clawing at door

????: Seriously, dude! Youre gonna hurt yourself...

Sora: still clawing at door

????: Okay, fine!! disappears

Sora: turns head Did you say something?

crickets chirping

Sora: shrugs, grabs mushroom, drools Mushroom... shoves mushroom

into pocket Must...resist...

Sora & Riku in Cove

Sora: If I win... Ill be captain! And if you win-

Riku: I dont have to share a paupou with Kairi.

Sora: shocked WHAT?!?

Riku: Deal? Loser shares a paupou with Kairi.

Sora: But-

Kairi: sticks arm up Ready?

Sora: running position

Riku: running position

Sora: grabs Rikus fluffy pants and yanks him back

Riku: grabs Soras spiky hair and yanks him back

The yanking continues up to the star, tree, ...thing

Sora: reaches out for startree

Riku: grabs him around his ankles

Sora: starts wrestling with Riku

wrestling continues until theyre back to Kairi

Kairi: Um...

Sora: jumps up Who loses?!?

Riku: HE DID!!

Sora: NO YOU DID!!!

Riku: points finger NO YOU DID!!

Sora: points finger NO YOU DID!!!

continues for a while

Kairi: Actually...

Sora&Riku: WHAT?!?

Kairi: giggles Nobody wins!! Neither of you touched the

star-pauses, thinks tree... whatever.

Sora&Riku: eyes grow huge What? runs away, screaming and tearing out

hair NNNOOOOOO!!!


End file.
